totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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