I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
