I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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