That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
