so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
