You work out of a Hotel?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
