i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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