Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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