I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
