I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
