okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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