sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
