you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
