Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
