You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's shark week go big or go home
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
