you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
