Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
