I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
