I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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