This is not my ceiling
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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