another moral hangover. fuck.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
