HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
is wine microwaveable?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
