What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Barsexuality is the new black.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
His nipple licking is glorious
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