you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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