and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
