we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
