I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i believe in u and ur pee
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
