Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
