walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So much rum. So many feels.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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