I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
