All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
