You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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