:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
