fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
