My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
