I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
