The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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