ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
