I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
