dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
