Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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