dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
smell my finger.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
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