it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
