but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
