i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
