jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
can u get pink eye on your cock?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
