Cold hands, warm shart.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
