He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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