Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
