She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
