hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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