The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
